Saturday, April 25, 2020

To my 80 year old me


As I write this letter, I’m in a state of uncertainty.  I’m grieving the loss of my Walter and am just a shell right now.  Knowing that I need to move forward, but don’t yet have the energy or will to dream, feel and redefine who I am.  It will come in time.

I’m writing you this letter in hopes that my wisdom, experiences and regrets have shaped my future in a positive light.  I assure you I am trying to realize my capabilities and celebrate my successes so that the next thirty years are lived to their fullest – filled with confidence, happiness and stability.

There are a number of things I hope you’ve accomplished over the years.  I hope that you’ve remembered to see beauty around you, that you’ve celebrated and shared it – be it by word, pen or paint.  I hope that you’ve forgiven those who’ve held you back, caused you pain or sadness – most importantly yourself. I hope that you’ve learned to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you – and truly see your beauty and accept your imperfections, both which define you. 

When you look in the mirror, I hope you like the image looking back at you – that you accept her and love her.  That you love every wrinkle, every scar.  That you’re not so critical of the shape of your figure, of rolls, of excess weight or saggy breasts and you’re happy with your grandma’s arms.  I hope that you’ve embraced the woman you are wholly, completely, being thankful for that very vessel that carried you through eighty years of heartaches and happiness; childbirth and challenges; adventures and experiences. 

I hope that you’ve traveled, challenged yourself to try new things.  That you’ve kept healthy, mentally, spiritually and physically. I hope you’ve found drive and desire to be a force, to lead a fulfilling life.  I assure you that you deserve to enjoy every moment.  Always continue to be grateful, humble and happy.

Love your 50 year old you





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